Running through a field, where an ex-boyfriend, Shawn, passes by and starts taunting me. I'm on my way to class for a major exam that I realize I didn't study for. The field becomes a grocery store aisle, and suddenly I am being stabbed repeatedly by (from what I can remember) the ex-boyfriend. Somehow I get away and run down the aisle which has in the meantime become a hallway and run into class, only to find that the exam is now over and I missed it completely. I then go back down the hallway to where I had been stabbed and remember I had left my bookbag there (I guess it dropped when I was being stabbed). Of course, the ex-boyfriend is gone and so is my bookbag, which seems to make me more upset than being stabbed did. But there are masks hanging all over the hallway, some from the wall and some from the ceiling, which resemble all the people in the hallway, who have just come from taking the exam that I missed. Someone tells us that the masks on the ceiling represent the people who are already dead (kind of like 6th sense, dead but don't know it). My mask is one of those hanging from the ceiling, in addition to the ex-boyfriend's (maybe I killed him before I got away?). I am one of many frightened by the realization that I am dead.

Unfortunately that was not the point where I woke up. The dream just went back and started over again, only adding more scariness to it, such as more people chasing me and stabbing me repeatedly. I finally woke up as I got the knife away from one of my assassins and was attempting to stab back.

I then proceeded to have a panic attack. Haven't had one of those in a long time. Actually, I haven't had one since I've been with Brian. There's just something comforting about having someone there to hold you when you wake up. Although, I've never woken him up before last night. I still have nightmares frequently, like I've had all my life, and I'm usually okay once I wake up. But I haven't had a night terror (waking up and having a panic attack) in a long time, and I had to wake him so I could feel better. Of course, after that, every time I went back to sleep, the dream continued, just as scary.

Needless to say, I had a rough night last night.

last - next

I can't believe - 11.22.2006
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