I'm really bored right now. I know, I hate when people say they're bored, I always think if you're bored then you're boring (like the Harvey Danger song - Flagpole Sitta). But lately I'm just bored because my life sucks. I really only have one friend down here that I hang out with, and I'm sure she doesn't want to hang out as often as I would if I didn't want to completely drive her crazy. I just hate sitting at home... one, because it continually reminds me that I'm alone, so incredibly alone in this town without my husband (soon to be ex, I guess) or my family and friends that I left so I could live with my husband, only for him to leave me within four months of moving down here. I will call my friend Erin shortly, and I'm sure she'll be willing to hang out, or at least for me to come hang out at her place. And then at least I won't necessarily be bored, and I definitely won't be sitting here being reminded of my loneliness. Life sucks, what can I say? At least I've got my family, and my health, and the few friends that I am still in touch with. And a job that drives me crazy and stresses me out, but I really do enjoy it, as crazy as that seems. Of course, it's only November, and I have to make it to May 31. Then who knows what will happen? Right now I have no desire to stay here after the school year ends. I want to live in my house again, live in the town that I chose to buy a house in, be close to my family and more than just one friend.

I again want to run away... I wanted to run away once before - well, I've wanted to run away plenty of times before, but only once ever seriously considered it. But I just want to get away from it all. I want to move somewhere where I don't know anyone. Start my whole freaking life over. But again, I can't do that at least until June. So I want to run away for a little while. I suppose I could do it over Christmas break. I just don't know what I would do with the dogs. I don't think I could afford to drive, with gas prices the way they are. I guess I could take them on an airplane, but I really would hate to do that to them. My brother might be able to take care of them, but I hate leaving them for so long. I don't know. I just don't know anything anymore.

last - next

I can't believe - 11.22.2006
life sucks - 11.19.2006
alone and unhappy - 11.14.2006
please don't let it end - 10.15.2006
nothing to wear - 08.28.2006

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