This is the third, and hopefully last, part of my story. If you have not read the first two parts of the story, click on "older entries" and read story part 1 and part 2 before reading this.

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The week after Sam died was terribly rough. Janet just kept thinking about the future. All those places they planned to visit, all the things they were going to do together... How was she going to make it through this? She had made so many plans based on Sam, based on the thought that he would always be there. She knew he had been sick, but she never thought it was that bad. When the autopsy report showed how bad his heart had been, Janet realized that all those times when he got up in the middle of the night claiming to have "heartburn," he was actually having heart attacks. Realized (although she knew all along) that if he had gone to the doctor, they might have been able to save his life.

What she also realized that week was that the bird had not been there, banging its head into the window. That bird, which Sam had said was an omen, was there the morning he died, but hadn't been there since. In fact, it never came back. After that, Janet started noticing other strange things. One day she was waiting for her son to arrive at Sam's house, but she wasn't sure what time he would get there. She had to go out for something, so while she was gone she decided to call the house to see if he was there. On her cell phone, she had put Sam's number into the speed dial. That day it was gone. She went through the speed dial numbers over and over again. Number 5 was Sam's number. One through four were there, but after four was six. Not just the phone number was missing, but the entire space for number 5 was completely gone.

Janet was starting to wonder. Were these coincidences, or was there something else? Maybe Sam had a reason for believing in supernatural things. Why did the bird disappear the day Sam died and why did Sam's number accidentally get erased and no others? It was like Sam was slowly being erased from her life. Was she going to lose everything that tied her to him? On top of everything that was happening that week, Sam's brother was not even considering letting Janet get any part of his estate. Sam had over $10,000 in his bank account, plus stocks and IRAs. He did not have a will, and because they were not married, Janet had no chance of getting any part of it unless his brother gave her some. Sam's brother owned the company Sam had worked for, had a beautiful home, and never wanted for money in his life. Janet was a teacher, had a car that was ready to give out any minute, and lived in an apartment that Sam had helped her pay the deposit for. Before the divorce, Janet had gone through a bankruptcy. But Sam's brother made it all too clear that Sam's money was going to him and his own family. And Sam's truck, which Sam had just finished paying off, would go to the company.

In fact, Sam's brother seemed to be trying to get rid of all Sam's things as quickly as possible. This brought up a new concern for Janet. Sam had two dogs whom he treated like his children. Since he had never actually had children of his own, the dogs were his life. His brother didn't want them and wasn't making any effort to find them a home. Janet couldn't bear to see Sam's "daughters" go to the pound so they could be separated and, most likely, euthanized. She asked everyone she knew to help her find them a home, and she put signs in every veterinarian's office she could find. And every time she went to Sam's house she held her breath, in fear that Sam's brother might have come and taken the dogs away.

Sam's body was cremated (it was what he had wanted), and Janet asked if she could have some of the ashes. They still had his father's ashes and were going to spread them both over the ocean. She went to a funeral home to find a small urn, or something she could put the ashes in. The woman that worked there was very friendly, and when Janet told her story, the woman began to tell about her husband. Her story was very similar to Janet's: her husband had had a heart attack while working in the lawn. She described what it was like to see him in the hospital, dead. It was exactly the way Janet had experienced it, seeing Sam lying there dead. It was the first time she had been able to find someone she could talk to about it, and when she left she felt better. It was as though this woman was sent to help her. An angel, maybe. Another one of those strange coincidences.

Janet ended up keeping Sam's dogs. She never got anything from Sam's brother. She still misses Sam all the time; not a moment goes by that she doesn't think about him. But she no longer believes in fairy tales. She once again hates watching movies with so called "fairy tale endings." Fairy tales don't always have happy endings. Her's certainly didn't.

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I know this does not seem like it could be the end, or maybe it doesn't sound like a good ending, but it isn't the end. There really isn't an end, I guess, because it's not over. There's a lot of details that I left out, mostly just because I don't know enough details. If I ever did want to fix it up and possibly make it into a book, I would need a lot of help from my mother. I know it doesn't sound like it could possibly be, but it is a true story. Every bit of it really happened. I would need the help from my mother because only she knows all the details. Only my mother knows the whole story, from beginning to end.

Because Janet is my mother.

last - next

I can't believe - 11.22.2006
life sucks - 11.19.2006
alone and unhappy - 11.14.2006
please don't let it end - 10.15.2006
nothing to wear - 08.28.2006

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