I just watched "8 Simple Rules," the show that starred John Ritter. It was the "Goodbye" episode, and it was really hard to watch. They did a good job with it, but I started crying right at the beginning and couldn't stop the whole way through. I've seen too much death in the past few years, and especially in the past few months. Too much sadness, and I'm already afraid that something will happen to Brian, I don't need to see or hear about things that make me think about it more.

I don't think I've ever written in here about how the women in my family are cursed. I don't know if it's a curse, per se, but it started with my grandmother (and possibly even before her, I'll have to ask my mom). My mother's father died when he was around 50 (my mom was nine). It's still not clear what the reason was. My mother has two sisters, one's husband died in his thirties in a car crash, the other's husband died in his fifties or sixties of cancer. My mom divorced my dad, so he was safe, but the first man she dated after the divorce (whom she also dated in high school) died from a heart attack six months after they began dating, at the age of 49. None of my cousins' husbands have passed away yet, but they're all still young. I'm scared it will happen to me. It's like that movie Practical Magic with Sandra Bullock, when she knows it's coming and can't stop it. Brian thinks I'm crazy for being afraid, but wouldn't you be too?

last - next

I can't believe - 11.22.2006
life sucks - 11.19.2006
alone and unhappy - 11.14.2006
please don't let it end - 10.15.2006
nothing to wear - 08.28.2006

Come on, vote for me!

Today I feel Everyone else feels