I just added a guestbook! Of course, I don't think anybody reads my diary. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Am I sad, because nobody thinks my diary is good enough to read? Am I happy, because it's my diary, and it's not really anybody's business anyway? How do I even know that nobody's read it? I've only had it a few days and I haven't told anyone except Brian that I have it. Maybe I'm just obsessing over nothing.

Anyway, if anyone reads this, I hope they sign my guestbook. Even if they don't like me or what I write, I just would like to know if anyone really reads what I write or not.

I really like this diary - nomanswoman.diaryland.com

When I read it, I feel like I'm reading a book about some girl that lives in Australia who seems to be a lot like me, and at the same time, not like me at all. But she seems to think the way I do. I really like her. Funny, because I don't even know her. But I've read all of her entries and now I always look forward to reading the next one. It's like I'm reading a book and every day I get the next chapter. I've formed a relationship with her in my head, like I do with characters in actual books I read, and she doesn't even know I exist. And I want to know more. What scares me is if she just one day stopped writing. I would never know the ending. Of course, is there an ending? It's not REALLY a book, so it's not really a story that would have a beginning, middle, and end. Poop. I like to know how stories end.

I'm not sure how this would sound to someone else. If I told this to someone I knew, what would they think about me? I kind of sound like a stalker, but in reality, I don't think of her as a real person. Just a character in a book.

God, what if I made contact with her? It would be like talking to or meeting a celebrity. I don't think I'm ready for that. I hope if she ever reads this that she doesn't get the wrong idea. I mean, it sounds kind of crazy, the way I'm talking about her. But in my mind, it's not weird at all... it's like reading Anne Frank's diary. You know she was real and it was all true, but some people are fascinated by her, and at this point (because she's dead) she really is just a character in a book.

So there really isn't anything wrong with me, right?

last - next

I can't believe - 11.22.2006
life sucks - 11.19.2006
alone and unhappy - 11.14.2006
please don't let it end - 10.15.2006
nothing to wear - 08.28.2006

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